


THEON SUPER AQUAMAN NIGHT KING!!!!!

by HipericoLotus



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, M/M, Parody, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21817741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipericoLotus/pseuds/HipericoLotus
Summary: Scene at god tree - it’s all over, arya falls to the ground, zomg the ice ppl are splintering wtf we actually did it!!!!!!!!!Theon is actually still breathingishBran is actually surprised for once in his (second) lifetime and realizes a thing can happen now that will fix EVERYTHING and turn the entire world (not just westeros) into a utopianymeria still takes off into the forest because jesus christ humans suck, get them off me, oh gawd the smell, ewwwwww
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	THEON SUPER AQUAMAN NIGHT KING!!!!!

Scene at god tree - it’s all over, arya falls to the ground, zomg the ice ppl are splintering wtf we actually did it!!!!!!!!!

Theon is actually still breathingish because i want him to

Bran is actually surprised for once in his (second) lifetime and realizes a thing can happen now that will fix EVERYTHING and turn the entire world (not just westeros) into a utopia because i want it to. 

Arya is actually strong enough to drag her pseudo brother to the god tree and make a little hole around his head in the snow because now that the ice zombies melted it’s not absurdly cold anymore and you can actually dig at the stuff and make a little hole so she digs at the stuff and makes the fucking little hole. Bran tells her to bleed a bit of the god tree’s sap into it and they get salt from somewhere (maybe her tears if i’m feeling extra cheesy or her sweat if i want him to smell like cheese forevermore) and they do like cpr or something (maybe they pound on his chest all dramatic like they do in doctor shows when the cpr isn’t working) and he gasps and the sappy cheesy snowmelt goes into his lungs and the drowned god high fives the old gods and theon turns into super aquaman night king and only revives the dead who want to be revived. There’s another tearjerking moment where we’re not sure it really worked because he’s like comatose or something or sort of alive but with a death rattle and unable to actually pull a night king so they take him back to the god tree and he raises the two little boys that were killed instead of bran and rickon and he gives them the chance to come back and raises their daddy for good measure and they go off into the sunset to be one big happy family and maybe he also revives the father and daughter that the Hound killed or something and everyone’s all crying and snotty in the reaction videos and theon becomes the night king and brings back all of the starks who want to be back except most of them kinda like the whole eternal rest thing but we get some beautiful emotional goodbyes and then we’re dehydrated from all of the fucking crying so we get some comic relief from the lovely revived interpreter and her terrible interpreter jokes except wait she isn't dead yet. 

and now that she has backup from sentient willing undead people who smell like evergreen and resin the best character in the whole show doesn’t get beheaded after telling the world to just fucking burn up already geez and dany doesn’t go nero on everybody and king’s landing people all crowd around her and call her mommy except they’re white so you don’t get the whole silver savior effect that you got in mereen which is fine because that was kinda uber racist anyhow. 

Oh and theon and sansa get to have lots of sex and babies except they’re revived undead babies because theon is still dickless because i’m not that much of an idealist and i kinda like him better that way anyhow. Every couple needs a good challenge and this one is much better than being enslaved by a sociopathic dog lover. 

And dany and asha/iara get power married and have lots of sex and krakens because guess what happens when a dragon mother and a lesbo pirate have lots of sex? baby krakens! John gets to threesome whenever he wants but he’s busy wandering beyond the wall exploring the north with the free folk (let’s be real, he would have done it even if he hadn’t been forced to go) so he can only make it to wherever the seat of power ends up being when drogon pulls an uber. 

There’s no actual incest though bc gross. 

Arya is free as a bird and goes on to not stumble across an entire continent of people and unlock a chain reaction of plague and gunfire. But maybe she needs a blacksmith who discovers that being a noble isn’t all that great. 

nymeria still takes off into the forest because jesus christ humans suck, get them off me, oh gawd the smell, ewwwwww

\----not the end----


End file.
